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Alcohol does not result in the making of good decisions. I feel high-school did not adequately prepare me for the stresses of the college social environment. It's not that I don't like her at all, it's just that she semms to like me a lot more.  Is akward.Have I mentioned that London kicked ass yet? post a comment
I had to meet with my hall director over an alcohol violation.
Yeah, so it's a bad idea to get a crush on a girl who goes to a different school than you... Lesson learned.
Okay, well today was... Um, I'm just going to describe the results and maybe you'll get it. My clothes show scorch marks and reek slightly of sulphur, but that scent is greatly overpowered by the smell of tequila which permeates them. There is something horribly, terribly wrong with my parents. I fear that no amount of counseling will ever make this "okay". Oh yeah, and besides being wierded out by them, I'm pissed about this morning. My mom woke me up after three hours sleep to go to the mass that I never go to, I told her no and she got all mad at me, so they made a big breakfast of eggs and french toast and crap and ate it all while I was in the shower; the whole family including my sister. I had a glass of milk.
I suck! I Suck!!! I SUCK!!! Godammit, no excuses. I don't even know why I froze. That one was served up on a silver platter and I fucked it up. Last chance too, and I knew that. What's my problem? It was a no-risk gamble and I passed. I deserve to beat in the head with a fucking metal bucket. Godammit...
Have you ever wondered if you gave up a seed for a plastic plant? In other news: I gave in and bought the new Harry Potter book, and proceeded to read it in one day. Not the best one, but better than the last. The Harry Potter series is generally overrated; I'm not saying they're bad, they're very good books, but there are better ones out there. Eh, though honestly, I haven't been reading much this summer at all.  Eve 6 - Anytime
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I feel the desire to update without the required inspiration as to what I should write. Hmm...back when I cleaned my room for my graduation party I found a bunch of crap that belonged to my elementary school and old scout troop and an undelivered thank-you note, so I felt bad about that...but that's old news.
Indecision's a bitch. 1 comment | post a comment
You know...I was a power-ranger once. Way back when. It was before the television hype. I was the orange ranger, and it was pretty cool. I had a big hammer and a robotic stegosauraus and cool kung-fu action. Being a power-ranger is a lot like being a rock star. That's sort of why there was no purple ranger when they put the team on TV, I mean, we were all doing a little coke back then, but she was packing her helmet with the shit. It wasn't a pretty scene man. She OD'd while driving her brontozord going ninety down a country road...went head-on into a tree; the tree won. We all blamed ourselves a little, we felt we should have had an intervention, or something. After that, we pretty much gave up on the coke. The blue ranger still smoked quite a bit, but he never got as bad as the ill-fated purple ranger. It's just so sad, cause in the mornings she was okay, she never started to feel the cravings until a little after noon. I kinda miss her sometimes is all. I dunno. The team just wasn't the same after the funeral. The red ranger got a stick up his ass or something, because he decided he was the boss and started being a nazi about uniforms and practice and all. That's how I got kicked out; I pimped out my ride, and apparently that's "inacceptable." The bastard... Yeah, I got chrome fins on the back, running lights, nitro, and more subwoofers than you could fit in your garage. God I loved the sound in that beast. Plus, chicks dig giant dinozords. I considered shag carpeting, but decided against it, I did get the leather interior though. Then that stupid prick decided to make an issue of it. He was all like, "Hey, I'm the red ranger, I'm a moron with nothing better to do than nag the rest of you and pick on Greg because he's so much cooler than me, nyah." Such an asshole. Well yeah, black and pink ranger backed me, but blue and yellow went with the tard. The robot cast the tie-breaking vote and I was out. I have no regrets about ripping my music to his internal hard-drive, it was worth it. So yeah, they weren't cool enough for me anyways; I just wish they'da let me keep my zord. I took it kinda hard at first though, I keyed the triceratops. They knew it was me of course, so there was a confrontation. Five against one just isn't fair, especially when they've been fighting super-putties and I only got the practice of fighting regular ones. Once I got out of the hospital, I decided to set it all behind me and move on with my life. So I joined the X-Men. 1 comment | post a comment
My dreams are really, ridiculously, wierd. I mean seriously; have any of you ever had a dream in which your car's tires are misaligned? WTF is that about? What's the interpretation for a crappy car in your dreams? It's not even the focus of the dream; the dream was about running around in the school with a bunch of other guys, and we all had swords, and were all apparently reincarnations of knights of the round table... I spent about half the dream just unsheathing and resheathing my sword just because I liked the way it sounds. The problem is I went the whole dream without ever actually fighting anything, everybodu else was fighting some unspecified enemy, but I got sent on some mission to escort some guy to the parking lot. There was a girl in the dream, and she acted like she was interested in me and all, but then she's like, "Oh wait, that's right, I'm not." Honestly; what the hell? At this point I'm in the parking lot of the school, so I get in my car to leave, but the parking lot is full of people and my car is steering funky and the brakes are working crappy. Nevertheless, I manage to get out of the parking lot without hitting anyone, though there were a few close calls. Well I'm driving up towards Auburn when I see two cars coming towards me, one in each lane. Well I'm a stubborn cuss so I didn't pull off the road just because some asshole was in my lane...so we crashed, and that's when the dream ended. My grad party was pretty good, better than I thought it would be anyways. More of my friends showed up than I expected to; not a ton, but I realize that I'm a bit out of the way. I am really grateful to everybody who came. I should graduate more often though, because it's profitable as hell. Though on the downside, all my really good art pieces are still being judged by the AP people, so I only had second-rate stuff to display...but on the other hand I suppose this means fewer of my relations will think I'm disturbed. I accidentaly deleted my DDR save file a couple of weeks ago. *sigh* So I lost all my high-scores, which I'm okay with, but it was frustrating as hell to not have all my favorite songs unlocked. It took a few days to get everything back since I decided to only play heavy, but I did, so I suppose this is a pointless paragraph. I'm sorry for wasting your time. Well lately I've been in a pretty good mood and all...but I'm uninspired. You know? I'm happy enough, but unmotivated to paint or write. Mixed blessings and all that jazz. It's kind of wierd, I got really moody this year and I wasn't sure why, but now I think I really was just cracking under the pressure and lack of sleep, because I feel much better now. WHich is a relief, cause this was the first time I ever noticed myself being that emo, and it's not a trend I'm fond of. I'm going to see the double feature at the Myafield Drive-In tonight with a few friends, so that should be cool. I just hope whoever drives knows where we're going. I think Iknow, but I've never driven there, so I can't guarantee it. I want to see the forst movie, and don't care about the second, but it should be fun regardless. On a closing note; I should be dead by now. Honestly, the way I use that pocketknife I should at least have maimed myself a little by this point in my life. You think I'm exageratting, but last night I noticed a bit of belly-button lint tucked in there too deep to reach with my finger, and my sleep-deprived brain decided I should dig it out with a pocketknife blade. It worked very well, but I'm thinking that's not the best place for a sharp knife blade. Kids, don't be like me; I'm stupid. post a comment
So I had to hitch a ride with my mom this morning to go get my car from school, which meant getting up at 6:30 after going to bed at 2... So I decided to take a nap when I got home. I had a dream. It was one of those dreams that made me want to find a little metaphorical film-maker in my head and bitch him out to give up on this tired old theme. I mean, it was well-done enough, reminded me of Garden State, but it's time to drop that particular plot cliche. Well, obviously, we had the graduation ceremony last night. I probably should have felt really sad or happy or something, but I honestly just didn't feel like being there. I'm quite ready to be done with the vast majority of our class. It might sound kinda cold, but *shrugs* there you have it. I'll still see a lot of you at graduation parties, and I guess there are a few people I might be seeing at OSU, though I doubt we run into each other as much as people seem to think; it's a really big campus after all. I'm more cheerful now then I was when I started this post, which is wierd since I haven't been particularly positive in what I'm writing...must be the music. I'd also like to point out that Schroeder is quite possibly the best teacher ever, and by far the one who gave me the most stuff: canvasas, paints, and the like. Though I am kinda pissed that I opened a brand new set of watercolor tubes tshe gave me and all the colors are fine except for yellow, which is dried to hell and unusable.  Stupid, shoddy packaging job.On a closing note, it's a shame that some dreams can never come true, but that's just something to deal with. post a comment
Kisses are not promises. It's a simple fact, and if someone forgets that it's their own damn fault. Don't ever feel bad for the crap someone else puts themself through; not your responsibility; you have your own life to live and they need to take care of their own. If you make a decision for the right reasons you need never regret it. There are no real promises in life, and each person is responsible for seeking their own happiness, empathy only goes so far. So I'm in Convenient the other day, buying a pack of cigarettes (not for me, so chill out), and just the way the cashier was talking to me as she checked my ID convinced me she recognized me...which sucks ass if she mentions it to one of my parents. Seriously, death will be a blessing if they think i'm smoking. It's not that they're anti-smoking nazis, it's that my mom used to smoke. When me and my sister were little and got the anti-smoking propaganda in school, we nagged the hell out of her until she quit. So it's not dissapproval of smoking I fear, it's anger that we wouldn't let her. If the cashier mentions this little transaction offhand to one of my folks I will be kiled, have my soul destroyed, and then my mother will steal my money to go buy cigarettes. While I'm on the topic of cigarettes let me rant for a bit here. This "stand" stuff is a load of shit. They have one ad where they encourage you to fight against smoking for the sake of the waitresses...I work in a restuarant, me and my boss are the only non-smokers there. The waitresses smoke like crazy. You're not hurting them with your second-hand smoke, you're saving them a couple bucks with free smoke. There are people who complain because smoking is legal in bars. They want to ban it so they can drink without the harm of second-hand smoke. I've got an idea; let's ban the bars, that way your drunk ass won't run some kid over when you try to drive yourself home. Getting cancer from the second-hand smoke in a bar...please...if you spend that much time in the bar you're an alcoholic, and you're going to give yourself throat cancer anyways. So STFU. Smoking is a self-destructive habit. It's unhealthy, many find it unattractive, and it's expensive...but guess what: A crapload people like it enough to do it anyways. It does no real significant damage to you; you can always leave the room if you're so offended. What do we know, maybe smoking is the true meaning of life, maybe us non-smokers are wasting our lives in a fruitless search for something that feels as good as a nice refreshing drag off the ol deathstick. Just, for the love of god, stop whining about it and running these retarded ads; we know it's bad for you, we've heard it all before, leave people to make their decisions in some damn peace. It is after all their decision. As a small sidenote, I'd like to discourage people from taking my blogs and art too seriously as an indicator of my mental/emotional status. I only bother to update my blog when I'm feeling especially emotional, normally negatively so. I'm not like that the whole day, it's usually sometime after midnight that I type this dribble. As far as the art; I work on that during the day, but the ideas come at night or while listening to angry and/or sad music, thus the worrisome output I generate. post a comment
Jack-f******-pot. I went browsing through my parents' and my sister's CD collections...and I found some awesome loot. Most of my sister's good CDs are at OSU with her, but they'll be back soon, and in the mean time she left five Dave Matthews CDs... Sweet. Even better, I found the second disk to the Eagles' Greatest Hits, which makes for a total of an hour and a half of Eagles' songs on my PC now. Plus I found out that we have Don Hennley's Greatest Hits CD, I think it's called Actual Miles...so yeah, I'm pretty happy. The icing on the cake: Gin Blossoms, New Miserable Experience. Jesus, the Gin Blossoms are amazing, and I mean really totally amazing. Oh man, amazing music...Life's not too bad sometimes. I mailed in my stuff for Cedar Point cause I figure if I don't get ont the coasters now, I might never. So time to suck it up and do it already. *sigh* post a comment
Wow, it'd been so long since I'd been in a fight, even a fake one with no punching. Such a rush. I have to do that more often. I'm kicking myself for not going to my car to get my Nickleback CD though, Just For is by far the best song for a fight over a girl. Behold: I need to get in fights more often, they put me in "the zone"; they fill me with righteous anger; they're fun as hell. Liking fighting is probably my greatest flaw. I mean, I've done plenty of stupid things, and like Boris said, I've been a rather negative person for a while now, but the fighting thing is the only major flaw that I've had all my life. ...and yes, I know no one actually reads lyric quotes, but those songs are hella cool, so I'm doing it anyways. post a comment
Hmm...so yesterday was marked *important day* in my student planner. It wasn't though, that information is outdated. Oh well. Religion: I may or may not have said this before but I feel that most established churches overcompliclate faith. The way I see it; if there is a god, and he's a good one, not an asshole, he'll take care of everyone who was a good person when they die. That's it. Religion is a geological phenomena; most people are born into a culture where there is one main faith. Would a good god send a virtuous man to hell because he was born in a muslim country? Another thing; why the hell can't people ever accept the idea that their theology might be incorrect. I do, hell, I'm probably way off and consigning myself to the pits as we speak. I'm not just talking about intolerence, I'm also talking about having an open mind. I think I should try reading some holy books of other faiths over the summer. Actually, considering how many faiths there are in the world...the vast majority of people must be wrong, so it's probably safest to assume my beliefs are way off mark and just hope there's mercy for a poor fool when I die or, failing that, that oblivion isn't too bad. I'm pretty confident that there's something out there, but like I said, I can't have everything right. So where was I? Oh yeah, probability says any one person is wrong about god, so I wish governments would stop trying to impose the beliefs of their faith on people. It's nice to have people get along, but freedom is the most valuable commodity in the world. I am so friggen sick of school. AP Studio is the only thing I will miss. I'm looking forward to OSU. I need to send in my application for the OWL thingy (you go in a week early and then help other people move in when they get there). I know, it seems like way too much school-spirit for me, but I'd get to choose my bunk first and set up all my crap a week before my roomates got there. I don't really know if I'd rather be in Bradley or Taylor; Bradley is more of a fun dorm, but Taylor is closer to my sister's apartment...and she will be 21 next year... I'm getting off topic again. Screw it, I'm done for the night. post a comment
I'm dancing, but the arrows are gone.
In Teutonic mythology, Baldur was the most beautiful, good, and beloved of the gods. The god of light. All things of the earth swore an oath to Odin that they would never harm him. So the other gods, who were easily bored, entertained themselves by chucking shit at his head. He was invincible so all that crap just bounced off, until one day when someone threw mistletoe at him and it punctured his chest and killed him. So all the gods were like, "Damn man, he was cool." Apparently mistletoe is the most dangerous plant in the universe. What an ignoble way to die.
I'm beginning to think it's dangerous for me to be left alone with my thoughts anymore, they're not unhappy or anything, but at around 11 PM they start getting a little wierd... (which is actually more of a footstool but I didn't think of that till later) Honest to goodness, that was my train of thought at about 11:30 last night...and it took me a few minutes before I had a "WTF" response. It took me like two minutes to realize that just doesn't make sense; which worries me. Never underestimate the power of endorphins. I've been playing like an hour of DDR a night for the last few nights and it just puts me in a better mood. Plus DDR is cool, well, not cool really, but fun anyways. What's so great about being cool in the first place? Pfff, screw that heat. Electronic research class is positively worthless. It's like study hall except that synchroneyes occasionally blocks me off the PC. AP tests...are not so much fun, especially when somebody was supposed to take your Comp Sci exam for you and they didn't show. *shakes head in disappointment* They could have been worse though. I'll just have to wait and see. I wonder what the graders will think of my numerous doodles and comments in both the books we gat back, but also on my free response answer sheets. I put in things like a dead pig with an alien chest-burster coming out of it, an evil hamster, assorted Java jokes, emotes, and Hitchhiker's quotes.(Sidenote: It's an amzing movie. Go See it NOW) Prom=fun. After-prom=enlarged ego in respect to my physical prowress, until DDR at which I was owned...but I don't feel so bad it had been like 5 months since the last time I'd played. I'm trying to get some practice in now. AA on light and C on standard, so I'm getting better. If you've never visited my DA account, here's the link: Gallery but only if you're interested. I've been trying to get back into writing lately. I used to be an amazing writer in like 8th grade, but I haven't done much since then. (I've had some bad English teachers, excluding Harris of course)...So I wrote some short pieces and even started a play script, nothing I'm proud of yet, but I need the practice. I only have four years left to get a book published if I want to win the 50$ bet I made with Markus...and I want that 50$.  Apparently Nikki(whose hand is making the "L") catches on fast SO LONG, AND THANKS FOR ALL THE FISH post a comment
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